How to Be Authentic

Discovering and growing into your true self won't happen overnight. Instead, it's an ongoing process of learning. Take the following steps to make a start:

1. Live By Your Values

Living authentically means that you live according to the values and beliefs that you hold most dear, and that the personal goals that you pursue emerge from these. Finding your basic beliefs and making a commitment to live and work in accordance with them should be your first steps. Next, you must establish goals for your career and personal life that complement them.

2. Identify the Gap

Is there a difference between the person you know you could be and the one you are now?

For instance, do you put on a mask when you're at work? Maybe you believe that's how a leader gets things done, so you're more abrasive with your team than you'd like to be. Perhaps you take a casual approach to your work because you don't want people to think you're uninteresting, even though you approach your work with seriousness. Alternatively, perhaps you have a ton of ideas but you never share them because you fear your colleagues will reject them, which makes you feel miserable and confined.

Try to identify these gaps by writing a list of words that describe the qualities of the person you know you can be, and by thinking about how closely these reflect how you actually are.

Next, pick a word from this list that you wish to focus on. For example, you might want to be more "open." Use personal goal-setting techniques, and resolve to work on this every day. It's more realistic to set small goals and work on one trait at a time than it is to try to transform your entire life, all at once.

3. Live With Integrity

Integrity requires bravery to cultivate and maintain. Analyze your everyday decisions to start. You will often intuitively know what the right and wrong choices are: your goal is to learn how to listen to that "small voice" – that sense of unease – that tells you that something is wrong. Study each choice that you make, and ask yourself which one will make you feel good about yourself the next day.

Being a person of integrity also entails accepting accountability for your deeds, including your errors. Take responsibility for the decisions you make and put in great effort to make up for any errors.

4. Communicate Honestly

Speaking your mind while honoring the wants and feelings of the other person is a sign of honest communication. Emotional intelligence and effective communication are required for this.

It also means not playing games: you speak your mind and don't rely on cryptic hints or other tactics to get your point across.

Communicating honestly also means keeping your promises – if you give your word to someone, then treat it as a bond. Never pledge something you are unable to fulfill.

5. Don't Make Assumptions

It's simple to assume the worst about others as you go through life. If passing judgment isn't absolutely required, do your best to refrain from doing so. Try to take people at face value and let their actions speak for themselves.

You might find that as you make an effort to be open-minded with others, they'll extend the same courtesy to you.